My Little Secret
by Nalana
Summary: Year after year Hanabusa receives gifts from admires, but one's persistent hidden identity becomes one mystery he can't solve. Slash warning.


Disclaimer: I have not, nor will I ever, own any of the aspects of this relating to the series it's based on.

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The first time they had appeared was Valentine's Day of their final year of middle school. He had received the usual spectrum of confession chocolate. Due to a recent tutor session group A had given to a D group member who had been absent from classes due to illness, all four had received more gifts then usual. There had even been a few brave souls who presented Kashino with gifts.

He and the brash blonde had stumbled into their room, exhausted from a late night study session with the ever-clumsy Amano. Zoned out from Kashino's consistent grumbling about their group mate, Hanabusa hadn't noticed at first. He had gracefully settled his bag into his desk chair before taking a seat on his bed, sighing out with mild annoyance. He wasn't sure how much longer he or Andou could tolerate Kashino's blatant but somehow oblivious crush.

"Really, now…" he sighed, swiping his bangs away from his forehead. "It would be much easier if—"

"Hey. What's that?" the blonde's muffled curious voice caused Satsuki to open an eye and glance behind his shoulder where his roommate had motioned. He blinked several times at the small green package that was set on his pillow.

He regarded the gift with caution. At first glance the paper seemed to be plain. On closer inspection he noticed that it was a natural fiber mix with the hint of flower petals embedded into the pulp. The surprise overrode the immediate question of how such a thing could come into a locked room in the first place.

"It doesn't appear to have a name." He mumbled as he picked it up, placing one finger on his chin. A smirk tugged at the edge of his mouth as he teasingly closed his eyes as he added. "Perhaps Amano-san left it here. Vanilla could have carried it in." He didn't have to look at his roommate to sense the furling of his posture.

He smiled. Though he would not admit he held their classmate dear, the flame that had once sparked had simmered as he saw his two friends becoming closer to one another, even if they were the last two to see it.

Rushing the bittersweet memories away he undid the wrapping to reveal a plain pastry box with a small letter folded on top. Ever for manners he unfolded the note first. Despite the quality of the paper it had been printed out of a computer, most likely to disguise handwriting. It seemed whoever had prepared the gift knew that a curious prince on the prowl was a difficult opponent to distract.

_Please forgive my craft and cowardly presentation. _The letter read. _Despite my fears and inadequacies in comparison to you, I can no longer remain totally ignorant to my feelings. Yet until I tame these barriers, I find myself without the nerve to properly confess my admiration of you. Until that day, I hope you can accept this small token_.

_Though it is not quite suiting of you, to present to you your own symbol would be an offense to your own skill. Instead I selected an emblem of that which I cannot properly express. Please, enjoy. _

Baffled at the tone he removed the box's top to reveal a small set of chocolates. They were not in the shape of roses as the letter had mentioned. Instead small cakes with frosted gardenias stared back at him. The writer was correct. Sculpting was not their foray. But the flower was recognizable, and he plopped one into his mouth. The flavor made the slightly clumsy formations irrelevant.

The chocolate in the cake was mild, with a hint of cinnamon. He chuckled internally at the combination. Between his parents' professions he had learned various flowers origins. Gardenia was the symbol of secret love while cinnamon in growth was said to mark beauty and love. At the least the preparation that had gone into this secret valentine was admirable.

"Aaah. Lovely." He peaked to see Kashino still revolting slightly. "Certainly above Amano-san's skill level, though." His following chuckle escaped briefly when he saw his roommate relax considerably.

" Let me have some, then." Kashino grumbled. Satsuki quickly maneuvered them away, placing him in his desk.

"Perhaps you'd have more of your own if you'd be more open." He verbally poked the blonde who grumbled and started getting ready for bed. "An unapproachable face is worse then an ugly one."

By mid-semester the mysterious gift was forgotten.

The following year had brought on the pressures of the high school curriculum. Team A had a few spills, their ups and downs. But it had been overall productive time towards their ultimate dreams. This was most true for Amano-san who had made leaps and bounds with her talent. Setsuki attributed this mostly to the private lessons Kashino had been giving her.

But he hadn't realized just how far Amano had come until she approached him and Andou a week before Valentines pleading them for help. Not with recipe ideas, but to ask for their forgiveness and thoughts, if not permission, on how to give a special gift to Kashino. With a secret grin of triumph they rushed to her aide. They became full blown accomplices in making the night perfect and getting their teammates alone.

Doing so had proven to be a tedious task what with Vanilla sobbing about how she didn't want to spend more time around Chocolat. Like usual, Andou had been the one to calm her down as he spoke of Amano's happiness. He admired his classmate's ability to become a diplomat regardless of the situation.

That's when it occurred to Satsuki that he had never stopped to think of Andou's own feelings. Did he have a hidden spark of interest for Amano as well? He never would have stepped on his best friend's toes, surely. But she had become at least like a sister to all of them. He doubted he'd ever get a straightforward answer. Andou was much more guarded, modest, then his other friends. He assumed it was the deep traditional Japanese roots he had been raised in.

"It's nice, don't you think?" the darker haired boy smiled into the distance as they made their way back towards their dorms after finally getting the other two together for the evening.

"Hmm?"

"That they've finally seen past their differences." Andou's eyes softened considerably. "Amano-san was really brave tonight."

"Young love is a treasured beauty." Satsuki agreed wistfully as they reached their rooms. Andou nodded in agreement slipping into his room before his friend, their conversation having trailed off. Shrugging this behavior off as hardly unusual, Satsuki entered his room.

His tired eyes, this year, fell directly to his bed. There again was a slightly larger yellow box. The memories of the previous occasion flooded back instantly. The baker tilted his head slightly in interest. A repeat visitor? It was not abnormal. Many of those who presented them with gifts were repeated offerings. But he had to admit this person made him quite curious.

He examined the package for any trace of its owner. There were meticulous folds, but no stray strands of hair or smudging in the paper. Satisfied with the preliminary investigation, he undid the paper to reveal another box and another note.

_A year has passed and I still cannot present my feelings openly. I hope that the gap may grow smaller still with this gift and that my improvements be noticeable. I dare to hope that perhaps next year I will be able to find the strength to stand before you. May this be my first step? _

Making short work of the top he found this year's decoration to be delicate apricot blossoms. A timid love indeed, he thought to himself of their meaning. The artistry had improved to some extent. With a quick taste he found it to be primarily of a light consistency. The cake was of the same taste as the accented fruit. The center was also a light cream. The blooms held the most flavors, balancing precariously on the edge of too sweet. A stiff tea would be a perfect compliment. Coffee would be far too bitter.

Satsuki looked at the box with knotted brows. This was becoming a game. Who could this person be? He had thought he had met most of the students with sweets spirits. Though the creator could be the partner of a spirit that was very shy. The thought that it could be any of those who he already knew seemed unlikely. Others may jest about his narcissism, but he wasn't all as vain as they concluded. He did have a fair perception of others.

He presented the remainder of the gift to his comrades the next day. He had decided that once and for all he would unmask the mysterious gift giver. He had no intention of invading their desire. Nor did he wish to approach them before they felt comfortable. Most women were quite sensitive about these things. However, perhaps he could gently ease their decision or shy them away gently instead of shocking them if they decided to confess to him the following year.

"Mmmm!" Amano reveled in the taste happily as she exploded into one of her detailed illusions drawn from her taste buds. "A delightfully shy heart they have, with such caution! Oh it's just too adorable to stand! They should just tell you how they feel!" She exhaled, obviously in good spirits after the previous night.

"Why wouldn't they if they've gone through so much trouble to sneak this into your room? I mean, wouldn't it just be easier to show up or even leave it outside?" Kashino wrinkled his nose, a twinge of jealousy of the grand gesture leaking through.

"It is awfully withdrawn." Andou agreed thoughtfully. "Perhaps there's some reason that makes them more fearful. A consequence beyond rejection maybe?"

"Maybe it's one of the scholarship students? They feel too separated by class?" Kato had joined them that afternoon. "Or maybe their family would not approve?"

Kashino snorted loudly. "Maybe you've got a guy crushin' on you, Hanabusa." He smirked evilly. "It would explain how he got into our building. And you're the pretty type, I guess." His words were harshly said not helpful. Amano nudged him in the side. Satsuki took it in stride.

"I would not blame him. My beauty could sway either gender, yes?" He winked dramatically in Kato and Andou's direction. Kashino groaned. Amano slumped down in posture.

"It's possible they're just shy in nature. Or maybe they're much younger?" Andou ignored taunting exchange.

"Or older." Kato suggested.

"Maybe one of the younger teachers is waiting until you're of age!" Kashino tried again, and once again failed.

As the group split up they had agreed on a method. They would attempt to match the gift by taste. Over the next few days they attempted to sample as many different people's work as possible. When they found no match, Satsuki's goal was much deflated. He thanked them for their hard work before continuing throughout the year on his own.

When their second high school year rolled around he had still not found his mystery Valentine. Though somehow the rumor of them had spread throughout the student body. There were secret bets and theories flying around. All and all, Satsuki actually felt slightly regretful. This buzz would surely not help his mystery giver.

So, he resigned himself to a fate of waiting. He hoped, though, that they would find their voice soon. He had only another year after the next passing date as it was. He thought it would be quite troublesome to live forever with this mystery. Surely he was kind enough so that they wouldn't always feel put off by the premise of approaching him.

A year scrolled by in no time. As Valentines approached they all became rather scattered in their focus. They had failed to win their trip to Paris, but this was their year. They could feel it. Not a waking moment wasn't spent studying. It had gone so quickly that Amano and Kashino had almost forgot their nearing anniversary. Satsuki's mission for the mysterious gift giver had almost faded. But fate would bring him closer once again.

All of group A dragged their feet on the way to class. A loud yawn attracted their attention to the glasses-wearing member of the group. Of all them, Andou looked a little worse for wear. Satsuki frowned internally. Though he didn't let it show Satsuki was sure that other boy had somehow been pushing himself even more then the others. Did he still feel like he had inferior capabilities? Hadn't they confronted those issues years ago? He tried not to let it bother him too much.

They approached their station to see a very devious looking instructor. This particular woman had been with them starting their high school career. She was notoriously intuitive, a little bit easy going when it came to subject matter, but incredibly strict in grading. It was a love/hate sort of room.

"With Valentines so close, I thought the appropriate subject for this class would be a challenge. You will be tasked with creating a cake inspired by love. It may be a more innocent love, a reflection of your current desire, or even a dream of. But unlike your past prompts, it must reflect a maturing, changing, developing, or level of love." She offered. "This will be an individual ranking, with a bonus point to the team with the majority favoring on the categories of taste, texture, presentation, and delivery of concept."

The few men of the room groaned. The girls squeed, and just a few paled. Seemingly delighted with the chaos established with this, the teacher left them to work. They would have one prep class with a product to be created the following day. As the class broke out into planning chatter Kashino groaned.

"Aren't we above such silly challenges? We could have done this back in middle school." He huffed.

"But hasn't our views on things such as love grown since then?" Andou suggested through heavy eyes as he took out a notebook to start scrawling down ideas, pretending not to be pleased at the sight of the orange haired boy blushing as he tried not to look at his girlfriend.

"That's right!" Amano grinned from ear to ear as she started humming to herself as she rambled out loud about her family, friends, and avoiding the subject of Kashino all together.

Satsuki's thoughts turned on his views of love. All that time ago the word drew up flowery emotions of his family, of the lovely Amano, and the mythos and symbolism all wrapped up in it that made it into a magical entity all its own. He still harbored a respect for the figurative form of love. But what did it mean to him? He had not experienced a great love outside of that he found in those he'd consider as good as family.

Gradually his mind floated to his secret admirer. While the yearly presents had not affected him so much as to alter his life view they were significant. They made him truly ponder the complexities of a feeling and how hindering and motivational they could be all at the same time. He found himself smiling. This year he'd move one up on his admirer. He would make a present to show exactly how much he respected their efforts, even if they felt they had to be discreet.

The next day hands were flying, flour was clouding in the air, and the scent of sugar filled the room. Kashino had intensity to his work that placed a barrier of five feet around him. Ichigo on the other hand was completely a flutter. A chorus of "oops" and "ahs!" resounded around her. Satsuki himself was rather chipper with his ideas.

Andou on the other hand looked like he had been run over and left to fry on the sidewalk. Even Kashino came out of his daze to ask if he was alright. Amano, hearing this, paid immediate attention to her friend insisting he ask the teacher for an extension in order to see the nurse. Like always he waved off their concern and told them not to worry.

Everything came along fine. Group A, as usual, was decently ahead of the other teams. Unlike usual, though, it was the sickly Andou that seemed to be leading the pack. As Satsuki removed his cake to cool he noticed that his glasses-wearing friend was already frosting his creation. Having a little time on his hands he walked over to admire his work as Andou began tracing vines with icing.

He retuned to his own work with zest. The next time he checked in Andou forming gradated pink creamed zinnias. He couldn't help but wonder what flavors he had managed to use so that it wouldn't be overwhelmed by the amount of topping.

"You've come quite far in decoration." Andou complimented him.

"Well I learned from the best." He offered. "There." He said, raking the last of the pattern onto the desert.

"OOOOH!" Amano clasped her hands together as she completely forgot about the bowl she had just taken out. "It's beautiful!"

"Not bad." Kashino agreed, peaking over. "But you still…Andou?" He asked, noticing the boy's eyes drooping. "Senn-" he gasped as the sound of a decorating bag and bit plopped to the floor so did the student who was holding it. With quick reflexes, the two remaining boys of group A caught the other by the shoulders just before he hit the floor. Caramel, who had been fussing the entire test screeched and fainted into the arms of a near-by Café, which of course enraged Vanilla and Chocolat.

Chatter and gasps filled the room as the teacher made her way through. She ordered the others to focus on their work as she excused Satsuki and Kashino to help their fallen comrade to the medical office. Kashino ordered Ichigo to stay behind, using the excuse that she needed the grade more so then them. Satsuki rolled his eyes. Even now the idiot was trying to keep her from worrying too much.

It was with some difficulty that Ichigo found her focus again. But in the spirit of Andou's own dedication to finish she found the strength to continue, finishing with most of class B's time. The instructor approved of her design and asked her to wait around for the taste testing.

When all had finished their creations, they divided up portions of their cakes and exchanged with groups directly above, or below, them. Hanabusa and Kashino arrived back in the classroom at the same time. On a rare occasion, Amano forgot about sweets and rushed to them with a pile of questions.

"He'll be fine. The nurse said it was exhaustion." Satsuki explained, hiding his own problems with the situation. He wasn't sure why his friend had been under such stress. But the thought made his stomach gnaw painfully. Could they all be that oblivious to some hidden pain? Even Kashino, who was his best friend, was at a loss for the event.

Amano, ever the cheerful one, saw the concern on the boys' faces and urged them to wash it away with cake samples. After all, she reasoned, cakes flavored with love must be some of the happiest things ever. To demonstrate she offered them a sampling plate she had prepared for them. Enthusiastically encouraging she dug in to invite them to do the same but her face froze. Her eyes widened to the size of saucers.

"Amano-san?" Satsuki asked.

"You alright?" Kashino put a hand on her shoulder. "Do you need to sit down?"

Ichigo shook her head. "Andou-kun's…" She looked at the dark cake with its pink cream.

Wordlessly she took one of the spare forks and offered a piece of it to Satsuki. Blinking in confusion he accepted the bite. The moment it hit his taste buds he gasped, suddenly realizing exactly what had silenced Amano. Kashino, annoyed at behind excluded grabbed his own morsel too much of the same result. Though, his was with much more twitching.

"Hanabusa-kun?" Amano questioned Satsuki when he remained silent.

Instead of replying to her he went back to his working station. At this point his ingredients were ruined. Everything was the wrong temperature, texture. Without thinking he got rid of all of it. He'd start from scratch. This time, it would be perfect.

The sun was sinking in the sky creating orange shadows on the walls of the nurse's office when Sennouske finally came too. He jolted up not remembering for a second where he was. But when his surroundings sank in he calmed. Sighing he laid back against the cot he had been resting on. A heavy breath left his lungs. He had been able to complete his assignment, but at what cost?

"Sleeping Beauty finally awakens. And without true love's kiss at that." Sennosuke's eyes widened considerably at the voice. He didn't dare to turn his head to face his friend.

"Hanabusa." He acknowledged.

The green-haired boy's steps were light on the tile as he came to sit on the edge of the bed. His friend avoided his gaze expertly. This was all too embarrassing. They would have done the tasting by now. How could he have been so stupid? He sighed, closing his eyes. There was no way he could run now.

"You lost sleep trying to complete a new present." It was a statement. He received no reply. "Would it not be more graceful to be delayed in a gift? Surely if the person was decent at all they'd wish for your well being over your sentiments." Satsuki sighed lightly.

"Did it turn out?"

"Whimsical, hopeful. The symbol of lasting affection placed on the exterior was just a hint. That past the fluff and grace of young love lies something deeper, and richer, like your heavier cake." Satsuki reflected. Sennouske looked up at the other boy who was staring into the space in front of him.

"Hanabusa I…" He looked away for a moment. "I don't want this to unconvince you. I never meant for things to come together like this. I just…" he faltered. "I've always admired your grace, your skill. Even when you were using your charm as a weapon, you're more honest then you give yourself credit for."

"But it's more than that. There are times when I don't have to explain to you how things are, or the other way around. It took years for that to happen with Kashino. And even then, I feel so lost some times. I can't explain how this all evolved into how I feel now but…"

"I'm sorry." He added, afraid of overstepping his boundaries even more than he currently had.

A smile cracked through his thoughtfulness as he looked down to met the other's gaze. He was his same gentle self as always. To the patient he offered a small box. Sennouske sat up slowly, looking at the other boy with many questions.

"Well, aren't you going to open it?" He prompted.

Inside the box was a small cake sample that had arranged on it a white lilac falling over the slices. The smell was gentle, if not a bit safe. Cautiously Sennosuke tasted the treat. The tension that had been carried on his shoulders melted away slowly.

"A sign of the first dream of love." Satsuki explained the decoration's meaning. Hopeful eyes fluttered up to him.

"It was your gifts that let me believe that someone could hold an interest that wasn't just about the airs I put on. The dedication in them, and the sincerity, was more admirable then any confession I can imagine. I knew that even if I could not return the feelings, that I had great esteem in this person's heart. It is truly a standard." Sennosuke's fear seemed to subside, though he became slightly shocked when his friend reached out to take his hand.

"You're right, you know." He started. "I've never had to fight to know you, even if we don't walk the exact same path."

"Satsuki?" Sennosuke was unaware that he had let such an informal address slip. The other boy leaned in closer to him causing him to blush furiously. Was he simply playing with him like he did the girls?

"I don't know what my secret admirer expects of me… It is a high dream to live up to." He chuckled, making no move to retreat despite the ever-hinted awkwardness of the situation.

"They expect nothing, other then a chance."

"Then a chance they'll get." With the faint scent of cream still lingering, Satsuki pulled the other boy to him to swipe away that taste with his own lips.

A loud squeal followed by a crash broke the two apart. There at the door Kato and Kashino piled on Amano. Kashino growled at her as he rolled off the two girls while his girlfriend profusely apologies first to him and then to the boys sitting on the cot. Satsuki and Sennosuke traded a look and with no other prompting, burst out laughing themselves, offering the poor soul the leftover cake.

As the rush to consumption started, Satsuki mused. Everything felt so normal, at their impromptu party. But there was warmth that hadn't been here before. It was something he couldn't quite put a finger on, even if he couldn't have been more positive about the source. He didn't have to ask, or even look, to know that a certain admirer was feeling the same thing.


End file.
